Today was oxymoronic. I feel loads better after being reunited with the lovely lovely people x (Oh thanks to whoever went through the trouble to get me gifts or write me cards, they were really pretty. Much love!! I appreciate them a whole lot hehe) At the same time, I feel that History and Literature was somewhat a disaster. Put me down quite a bit today. 

I got a whole lot of things off my chest today and I realised that I have been burdening myself with negative thoughts. It really isn't the things happening around me, it's me. It's all in my mind. I see everything in a bad light and I just bring myself lower and lower until its so hard to get back up. Gotta stop being so negative. Shut out all the bad things and focus on the good things.

Thankfully I've got people around me to be my spine. Okay that sounds weird. But truthfully, without my friends to constantly encourage me, I would be an emotional wreck. So, thank you poppets for being here for me <3 I may not be able to confide in anyone because I suck at expressing my thoughts through speech but being around people I trust is so... comforting. I feel better just being with them. Like all my worries are washed away. It may appear like I'm reluctant to confide in anybody but honestly, I just have to find the right words to say. I haven't found them yet. I will, eventually :)

Oh and my sister  found my blog haha. I went berserk of course, I expected her to make fun of me for being an emo  but no. Which was pleasantly surprising. My sister is confusing.I haven't figured her out quite yet. One moment she's hurling a hard object at me and another, she's being shockingly caring. She really seems all tough and unemotional but deep down inside she really is a softie. And when her inner softie comes out, all the caring and compassion comes out too. This is really really rare but it happened when she discovered my blog, Of course my first reaction was to yank her phone away from her but i didn't succeed lol. The next thing she said shocked me. "It's okay what" I think by  then I was already burying my face in my pillow. I was all shit shit shit. Die die die. And then she started saying the following which shocked me a whole lot: Everyone feels that way sometimes, people feel like dying all the time. You're not alone. And don't worry about people who judge you, who cares what they think?
I may not have got exactly what she said but that's the gist and it did shock me to bits. My sister, the uncompassionate, mostly cruel and mean little sister talking to me like a counsellor! This is the same person who announced that i will never fit in my jeans and that I have a fat arse. 


That day made me realise that she's my sister, she is supposed to critisize me and make me feel like crap. But she is also the first person I should turn to when I am feeling down. She is there for me without me even knowing it. Many people have said what she said to me. But those words, coming from my sister somehow meant a little more. And somehow I was half convinced. 
You're probably reading this and I just want to say thank you very much. You've been there to see me through my lowest, made me feel better and then tease me about it after but that's what sisters are for.Thanks for rolling your eyes at me when I fangirl but still listen anyway, thanks for cheering me up in your little subtle ways and thanks for encouraging me when I need it most. I probably don't ever show you my appreciation enough and I just want to say, you're my sister and of course I appreciate you. Sounds mental but it's true. I may loathe you at times but you will always be my little sister and nothing will change that. I love you  sister.


 I still owe her a blog post to herself. It's only right :) I don't show my appreciation for my family members enough. This is my chance to:) 

Labels: mostly good, random thought 03, today was good and bad all the same haha

Labels: Random thought 02

I'm always ranting about how it puts me off whenever I see someone being hypocritical. For instance if they complain that they hate liars when they're one. Or when they complain about something they hate about someone when they're exactly the same as them. Or... when they say they hate someone but they are sickly sweet to them.  These are just examples of hypocrites and I guess I can say that I don't really like these sort of people. Ironically, I am really no better either. Nowadays I am feeling more and more like a hypocrite and it makes me hate myself even more. Whenever someone approaches me with a problem, -a big one,that is- my first instinct is to comfort them. Tell them it's fine, it will all be okay and that things will get better soon. Give them a hug maybe and hope that they feel better. I try my best to be all sunny and positive although I know deep down inside, that's all bullshit. If things have been looking bad for so long, what are the chances that you'll wake up tomorrow with all your problems gone? Zero. Not a chance. I imagine myself having these words said to me and I feel far from assured. More than not, I feel  doubtful. Skeptical even. It's terrible to be so negative but honestly, there is no point in telling yourself positive things when all you're doing is lie to yourself. So, I am  pretty much a liar. I lie all the time. Funny enough, I hate it when people lie to me. So that makes me a hypocrite.

In all honesty, we're all hypocrites. I see that in almost everyone. You may be a hypocrite without even realising it. That's why I shall not rant about people being hypocrites anymore because that would sound ridiculously contradicting. I am ridiculous. /facepalm/


Sometimes I honestly do confuse myself. Arina, you're such a hypocritical, contradicting bumhole :(

On a lighter note, isn't  Maxxie Oliver is so dreamy? Sigh. I would probably believe him if he told me 'it's alright'. Applaud me for choosing such a good looking yet relevant gif haha. Okay bye people, thanks for reading hehe

Labels: random thought 01

Hello! I know I havent blogged since forever haha. Hmm... I might change my blogskin. It looks way too much like a cupcake. SO PINK. Okay I shall summarise my 'holidays' for you then.

• went out with Nadya and Charmaine (^_^)
• went shopping/movie watching at Johore
• slept/ate/breathed
• sleepover at Gramma's
• eating chocolates while playing the 'Story Game' by the sea with the fam 
• watching youtubers' videos 
• rewatching Skins and falling in love with Maxxie Oliver/Mitch Hewer
• Attempted to watch Skins Generation 3 but it was crap. (Bring generation1 back sighhh)
• Caught OCD and cleaned out my room. 
• watching TLC
• screaming, spazzing and falling off the couch while watching Roland Garros (NADAL WON WHOO)
• being sad
• being happy

Okay, that was boring. REALLY boring. Anyway, when I went to Nadya's the other day, we had the funnest time watching Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. Then we went for a jog in the blistering hot afternoon and went to the woodlands waterfront thing. But it was too hot so we had a walk in the admiralty park forest. I didn't know Singapore had such huge fields and bridges in a forest. It was like an adventure ^^ We would see bushes moving (creepy) and green birds (creepier) but the adventure was cut short after we ran into two monkeys. We were afraid to have our faces ripped off so we detoured and walked a long way back to buy drinks and chill in the playground. (I almost kicked a baby in the face while playing on the swings).

So that was pretty much interesting.

From now on I shall post random thoughts instead of what I did for the day because my days are dull and boredom inducing to read about. So it shall be like Random Thought 01,02 and so on. Until the holidays end. And this is so that I don't feel obliged to tell you about my days. There really isn't much to tell. My holidays are full of tv, tumblring, caramel frappe, baked food, shopping, picnicing and everything that's not exciting. To be honest, I actually enjoy the unexciting life. But it must be dreadful for you to read about it :p Moving on..

Shoutout to Tofu for getting me these!

No 1D will never date me and she got me those braided bracelets. The rest are from my slowly growing bracelet collection haha.

Little bits of my holidays...

Eating macaroons and watching PJ LIGUORI's videos.(AHHH HE'S SO GOOD LOOKING)

And finally...playing with Hunny!



If you've already seen these pictures on Instagram, I'm sorry haha.

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d a n d y

rambling again

Snow Fag, Books and Motivation

Updates, I guess

'Long' weekend...

An actual conversation i had with my little brother

CCA Open House '13

2013

What have I been up to?

Holidays.Kind Of.

Yu Qian Nicolette Nadyah Arina R

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