Random Thought 03
Monday, June 25, 2012 @ 10:20 PM
| 0 notes
Today was oxymoronic. I feel loads better after being reunited with the lovely lovely people x (Oh thanks to whoever went through the trouble to get me gifts or write me cards, they were really pretty. Much love!! I appreciate them a whole lot hehe) At the same time, I feel that History and Literature was somewhat a disaster. Put me down quite a bit today.
I got a whole lot of things off my chest today and I realised that I have been burdening myself with negative thoughts. It really isn't the things happening around me, it's me. It's all in my mind. I see everything in a bad light and I just bring myself lower and lower until its so hard to get back up. Gotta stop being so negative. Shut out all the bad things and focus on the good things.
Thankfully I've got people around me to be my spine. Okay that sounds weird. But truthfully, without my friends to constantly encourage me, I would be an emotional wreck. So, thank you poppets for being here for me <3 I may not be able to confide in anyone because I suck at expressing my thoughts through speech but being around people I trust is so... comforting. I feel better just being with them. Like all my worries are washed away. It may appear like I'm reluctant to confide in anybody but honestly, I just have to find the right words to say. I haven't found them yet. I will, eventually :)
Oh and my sister
found my blog haha. I went berserk of course, I expected her to make fun of me for being an emo but no. Which was pleasantly surprising. My sister is confusing.I haven't figured her out quite yet. One moment she's hurling a hard object at me and another, she's being shockingly caring. She really seems all tough and unemotional but deep down inside she really is a softie. And when her inner softie comes out, all the caring and compassion comes out too. This is really really rare but it happened when she discovered my blog, Of course my first reaction was to yank her phone away from her but i didn't succeed lol. The next thing she said shocked me. "It's okay what" I think by then I was already burying my face in my pillow. I was all shit shit shit. Die die die. And then she started saying the following which shocked me a whole lot: Everyone feels that way sometimes, people feel like dying all the time. You're not alone. And don't worry about people who judge you, who cares what they think?
I may not have got exactly what she said but that's the gist and it did shock me to bits. My sister, the uncompassionate, mostly cruel and mean little sister talking to me like a counsellor! This is the same person who announced that i will never fit in my jeans and that I have a fat arse.
That day made me realise that she's my sister, she is supposed to critisize me and make me feel like crap. But she is also the first person I should turn to when I am feeling down. She is there for me without me even knowing it. Many people have said what she said to me. But those words, coming from my sister somehow meant a little more. And somehow I was half convinced.
You're probably reading this and I just want to say thank you very much. You've been there to see me through my lowest, made me feel better and then tease me about it after but that's what sisters are for.Thanks for rolling your eyes at me when I fangirl but still listen anyway, thanks for cheering me up in your little subtle ways and thanks for encouraging me when I need it most. I probably don't ever show you my appreciation enough and I just want to say, you're my sister and of course I appreciate you. Sounds mental but it's true. I may loathe you at times but you will always be my little sister and nothing will change that. I love you sister.
I still owe her a blog post to herself. It's only right :) I don't show my appreciation for my family members enough. This is my chance to:) Labels: mostly good, random thought 03, today was good and bad all the same haha
Random Thought 03
Monday, June 25, 2012 @ 10:20 PM
| 0 notes
Today was oxymoronic. I feel loads better after being reunited with the lovely lovely people x (Oh thanks to whoever went through the trouble to get me gifts or write me cards, they were really pretty. Much love!! I appreciate them a whole lot hehe) At the same time, I feel that History and Literature was somewhat a disaster. Put me down quite a bit today.
I got a whole lot of things off my chest today and I realised that I have been burdening myself with negative thoughts. It really isn't the things happening around me, it's me. It's all in my mind. I see everything in a bad light and I just bring myself lower and lower until its so hard to get back up. Gotta stop being so negative. Shut out all the bad things and focus on the good things.
Thankfully I've got people around me to be my spine. Okay that sounds weird. But truthfully, without my friends to constantly encourage me, I would be an emotional wreck. So, thank you poppets for being here for me <3 I may not be able to confide in anyone because I suck at expressing my thoughts through speech but being around people I trust is so... comforting. I feel better just being with them. Like all my worries are washed away. It may appear like I'm reluctant to confide in anybody but honestly, I just have to find the right words to say. I haven't found them yet. I will, eventually :)
Oh and my sister
found my blog haha. I went berserk of course, I expected her to make fun of me for being an emo but no. Which was pleasantly surprising. My sister is confusing.I haven't figured her out quite yet. One moment she's hurling a hard object at me and another, she's being shockingly caring. She really seems all tough and unemotional but deep down inside she really is a softie. And when her inner softie comes out, all the caring and compassion comes out too. This is really really rare but it happened when she discovered my blog, Of course my first reaction was to yank her phone away from her but i didn't succeed lol. The next thing she said shocked me. "It's okay what" I think by then I was already burying my face in my pillow. I was all shit shit shit. Die die die. And then she started saying the following which shocked me a whole lot: Everyone feels that way sometimes, people feel like dying all the time. You're not alone. And don't worry about people who judge you, who cares what they think?
I may not have got exactly what she said but that's the gist and it did shock me to bits. My sister, the uncompassionate, mostly cruel and mean little sister talking to me like a counsellor! This is the same person who announced that i will never fit in my jeans and that I have a fat arse.
That day made me realise that she's my sister, she is supposed to critisize me and make me feel like crap. But she is also the first person I should turn to when I am feeling down. She is there for me without me even knowing it. Many people have said what she said to me. But those words, coming from my sister somehow meant a little more. And somehow I was half convinced.
You're probably reading this and I just want to say thank you very much. You've been there to see me through my lowest, made me feel better and then tease me about it after but that's what sisters are for.Thanks for rolling your eyes at me when I fangirl but still listen anyway, thanks for cheering me up in your little subtle ways and thanks for encouraging me when I need it most. I probably don't ever show you my appreciation enough and I just want to say, you're my sister and of course I appreciate you. Sounds mental but it's true. I may loathe you at times but you will always be my little sister and nothing will change that. I love you sister.
I still owe her a blog post to herself. It's only right :) I don't show my appreciation for my family members enough. This is my chance to:) Labels: mostly good, random thought 03, today was good and bad all the same haha
